Want to become a mother, carry this child in me, give him life and finally have him in my arms. I loved him, I love him and I will love my Noah.
Not having experienced any of those moments to relate to and welcome children who are strangers to me into my life scared me. I was afraid of not feeling this love so powerful, so natural that I felt for my son in front of them. I was afraid of myself, I was afraid of them... So many fears and apprehensions fed my mind. Was I going to measure up? Would they accept me, love me even better.
Is it a vague role, second mother, great friend, enemy?
I realized that being a mother-in-law you don't become, you just live it. I was surprised to think of them when they weren't there, to miss them, to feel the need to tell them the fateful word I LOVE YOU.
It is not the pregnancy, the time spent with them or your title of mother-in-law that determines and quantifies the love that you can feel for children who are not biologically yours. All it takes is a sign of tenderness full of authenticity coming from them towards me and my heart explodes.
For 4 years, I have shared my daily life with 2 children whose existence I did not know before meeting their dad. Little did I know that I would get hit by a wave of love so powerful that I would become the best version of myself, a better mom and whatever I am to them; mother-in-law, accomplice, friend, girlfriend of their father and well I simply love them and I do my best with them.
Is it always rosy to be in the shadow of the mother...Tse the real mother with the title and everything that comes with it... The answer is NO! It's ungrateful, it's sometimes frustrating, sometimes sad, but in the end I'm not here to take the place of anyone and even less to claim my place. I just want to be there and love them.
While it's true that we're not related by blood, it's also true that we're related by something strong and powerful and that's enough for me to wear my mother-in-law's hat with pride and love.